one cold and drizzly afternoon last week I decided to
spend the afternoon reading. I was sitting in the lazyboy
listening to music and perusing CLAPTON ( eric clapton's autobiography) when he really grabbed my attention by using the term "gobsmacked". the
dictionary states it is British slang meaning flabbergasted or being struck dumb with awe or amazement. The book is mostly the story of clapton's
recovery from drug and alcohol addiction with his love of music providing the staying power to pull him thru from
sucidial despair to a peacefull and happy family life. Besides being a successfull musician he founded a
drug and alcohol rehabilation center called Crossroads
in Antigua. After finishing that i read Into the Wild. I had
recently seen the movie which i was gobsmacked by.
It may be my favorite film of the year.
Robert Hass won the National Book Award for poetry .
Happiness
Because yesterday morning from the steamy window
we saw a pair of red foxes across the creek
eating the last windfall apples in the rain—
they looked up at us with their green eyes
long enough to symbolize the wakefulness of living things
and then went back to eating—
and because this morning
when she went into the gazebo with her black pen and yellow pad
to coax an inquisitive soul
from what she thinks of as the reluctance of matter,
I drove into town to drink tea in the café
and write notes in a journal—mist rose from the bay
like the luminous and indefinite aspect of intention,
and a small flock of tundra swans
for the second winter in a row was feeding on new grass
in the soaked fields; they symbolize mystery, I suppose,
they are also called whistling swans, are very white,
and their eyes are black—
and because the tea steamed in front of me,
and the notebook, turned to a new page,
was blank except for the faint idea of order,
I wrote: happiness! It is December, very cold,
we woke early this morning,
and lay in bed kissing,
our eyes squinched up like bats.
On a more personal note my neurologist's tests showed nothing conclusive but
ruled out brain problems. he believes the seizure was caused by pacemaker failure
but he said he could not prove it. He said I can quit the anti-seizure drugs and apply
for exception to the 6 months legal limitation of no driving. However he said the application
would probably take several months to process. So I probably won't be driving till march.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sunday, November 4, 2007
my neurologist said....
my neurologist said seizure was most probably heart related.
If caused by pace-maker we will probably
never know. He cut back anti-seizure med dosage
and thinks it will lessen some side effects.
He suggests two more tests
and if they show brain normal then he would
take me off anti-seizure med and send me back
to heart doctors ( from whom i'm still awaiting
results of tests ).
Iowa law says if you have seizure and pass out
you must go 6 months without another before you can drive again.
If cause is determined then you can apply for
exception. However the application process takes
several months so bottom line is i probably won't be
able to drive until March.
News so discouraging that it gave me a bad cold and
put me out of commision for a few days.
not that it has anything to do with anything but i 've
always liked the Mad Gardener's Song by Lewis Carroll
...
He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'
-- Lewis Carroll
the subject of this post "my neurologist said..." reminds me
of a Hal Sirowitz poem. Here are some samples:
Hal Sirowitz
Don't Talk Back
(from My Therapist Said)
There are two sides to every story,
Mother said, but since I'm the adult
& you're the child, only my side counts.
Yours will count, too, one of these days,
but right now your job is to listen,
so when it's your turn to be a parent
& your child tries to interrupt youwhile you're speaking, you'll know what to say.
Psychology Books
(from My Therapist Said)
Some therapists don't let their patients read Freud, my therapist said. But you can read as many of his books as you like. You can read Horney, Adler, & Jung, too. I read some of their books. I'm not afraid of the competition. They can never be as good as I am at telling you what you need to do. They never knew you.
Girlfriend Over for Dinner
(from Mother Said)
She's very pretty, Mother said, but she's going to leave you.
She was talking about her future, & you weren't in it, so I asked her to tell it to me again, just in case she made a mistake & left you out, but you weren't in the second version either.
She talked about going away to school, & when I asked her what she was planning to bring with her, she talked about her coat, her boots, but she never mentioned you.She says she's fond of you, but people say that about puppies they're about to give away.
If caused by pace-maker we will probably
never know. He cut back anti-seizure med dosage
and thinks it will lessen some side effects.
He suggests two more tests
and if they show brain normal then he would
take me off anti-seizure med and send me back
to heart doctors ( from whom i'm still awaiting
results of tests ).
Iowa law says if you have seizure and pass out
you must go 6 months without another before you can drive again.
If cause is determined then you can apply for
exception. However the application process takes
several months so bottom line is i probably won't be
able to drive until March.
News so discouraging that it gave me a bad cold and
put me out of commision for a few days.
not that it has anything to do with anything but i 've
always liked the Mad Gardener's Song by Lewis Carroll
...
He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'
-- Lewis Carroll
the subject of this post "my neurologist said..." reminds me
of a Hal Sirowitz poem. Here are some samples:
Hal Sirowitz
Don't Talk Back
(from My Therapist Said)
There are two sides to every story,
Mother said, but since I'm the adult
& you're the child, only my side counts.
Yours will count, too, one of these days,
but right now your job is to listen,
so when it's your turn to be a parent
& your child tries to interrupt youwhile you're speaking, you'll know what to say.
Psychology Books
(from My Therapist Said)
Some therapists don't let their patients read Freud, my therapist said. But you can read as many of his books as you like. You can read Horney, Adler, & Jung, too. I read some of their books. I'm not afraid of the competition. They can never be as good as I am at telling you what you need to do. They never knew you.
Girlfriend Over for Dinner
(from Mother Said)
She's very pretty, Mother said, but she's going to leave you.
She was talking about her future, & you weren't in it, so I asked her to tell it to me again, just in case she made a mistake & left you out, but you weren't in the second version either.
She talked about going away to school, & when I asked her what she was planning to bring with her, she talked about her coat, her boots, but she never mentioned you.She says she's fond of you, but people say that about puppies they're about to give away.
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